*** Aether has joined 018.07.154.55 <Aether> Hello. You have reached Lusamine Mendel. <Aether> Please leave a message, and I will get back to you shortly.
[It's... not the first time he's had the desire to be deceptive. The desire to be vindictive. He's been able to quash them before to a point, with Neku... with Josh. But here. This stings. It rankles.
It's not fair.]
its always been him i hate him hes been in my brain since moment one hes made me turn against everyone i love he made me put him above everyone else!!
[Never, he says, as if he didn't do just that in Felfri. Still, the rush of anger is impeded by uncertainty. This is foreign to her—every bit as foreign as the first time Beat returned to her. Only he would beg so desperately for her to love him again. For a moment, she considers it.
Elias. Of course his presence had indeed been there all along. He had wounded her, too, when he dared to try stealing her transformation from her.
Her head is still swimming, teeming with venomous thoughts. It makes her fingers race.]
I hoped so much that I could trust you. I hoped that you would not be like all those others I made the mistake of putting my faith in. I gave you all the love I had to give. But you are the very same. All you do is leave, again and again. How much more of it am I to bear? How many times will it take for you to be satisfied? How can I believe a word of what you tell me now?
you can trust ME yo! i aint even known a moment in this place widdout him in my head widdout him putting himself number one!
i would never betray you or leave you!
[He HAS though, hasn't he? When he wandered off into Lager Woods, telling no one. When he was yanked away to the Wastes.
No, no he can blame all of that on Elias somehow. The vindictive nature rears and bites. It's Elias' fault, all of it.]
any time i was allowed to be me yo aint i shown you how much i love you? whatchu mean to me? elias hated it cuz i was puttin you above him! like it should be! an he hated it cuz you was wid the fog an he made
[There is another drawn out silence from Lusamine then, through which her mind burns with a single thought: Liar. All along, his oaths had meant nothing. To pin the blame on his (once) god is a child's logic—but that's just like him, isn't it? He is a child, petulant, sniveling, simpleminded... and, indeed, easily influenced. Like a child, he follows along at her heels, begging her to love him.]
And if you allow yourself to fall again for the lies of another? What am I to do with you then?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-11-03 11:32 pm (UTC)It's not fair.]
its always been him i hate him hes been in my brain since moment one hes made me turn against everyone i love he made me put him above everyone else!!
i would never put you above him!!
youre my mom and i love you!
no subject
Date: 2022-11-03 11:55 pm (UTC)Elias. Of course his presence had indeed been there all along. He had wounded her, too, when he dared to try stealing her transformation from her.
Her head is still swimming, teeming with venomous thoughts. It makes her fingers race.]
I hoped so much that I could trust you. I hoped that you would not be like all those others I made the mistake of putting my faith in. I gave you all the love I had to give. But you are the very same. All you do is leave, again and again. How much more of it am I to bear? How many times will it take for you to be satisfied? How can I believe a word of what you tell me now?
no subject
Date: 2022-11-04 12:07 am (UTC)i would never betray you or leave you!
[He HAS though, hasn't he? When he wandered off into Lager Woods, telling no one. When he was yanked away to the Wastes.
No, no he can blame all of that on Elias somehow. The vindictive nature rears and bites. It's Elias' fault, all of it.]
any time i was allowed to be me yo aint i shown you how much i love you? whatchu mean to me? elias hated it cuz i was puttin you above him! like it should be! an he hated it cuz you was wid the fog an he made
he made me be BAD an i aint like that!! i AINT
no subject
Date: 2022-11-28 01:57 am (UTC)And if you allow yourself to fall again for the lies of another? What am I to do with you then?