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[Apologize, that is—and she hadn't wanted to hear it. Even then, his excuses had wormed their way past her defenses eventually, and yet... Just when she thought herself ready to accept the apology, he'd gone silent. He'd grown sick of her, she thought, and decided to abandon her, just the same as everyone else. And so she'd decided that she was through with him, too.
Don't you care what happens to him? You always do that... Only thinking of yourself and what you want...
We're not made for you to just discard when you get bored with us...
He drops his travel form, and something about the sight of his face paired with those last words makes her throat feel tight.]
Why... Why now? After all this time... [Her voice is small.] I thought... you wanted nothing to do with me. I thought...
[That does get him to shake his head a little, because she's not wrong. He had thought the same thing.]
I was angry... I ain't gonna pretend an' say yer words didn't hurt me, so I did the thing I knew how to do best when it came to bein' hurt. I lashed out in return, then gave up an' ran. I didn't wanna deal wid it, didn't wanna think 'bout it.
[He lowers his head, studies his hands, frowning at them.]
But someone I talked to not too long ago made me realize doin' that isn't right, an' that when I stopped and did think 'bout it, I wasn't angry anymore an' that I hurt you more than I originally thought, an' how can I pretend to want to fix anythin' if I won't even face up to the hurt I caused an'... an' apologize fer it, an' really try to be better. An' that I wanted to show you Junior, and that I perm changed, an' I wanted to talk about things widchu... an' I hope I ain't cut that off forever...
[Lusamine listens to him in silence, her eyes wide and disbelieving. Uncharacteristically, it seems that she has no idea how to respond to that.
She ought to be furious, one part of her thinks. What is there to talk about? Another part, caught in memories that aren't her own, still can't fathom his kindness. How is it that he always comes back to her? Not for the first time since awakening from her month-long sleep, she thinks: she doesn't deserve this, does she?
Perhaps it's the same for her, and she's just now realized that she isn't angry anymore either. Or, more likely, she is angry still, yet another emotion has proven itself stronger.
In lieu of responding directly to any of those unspoken questions in his words, she lifts a hand up toward his face, to smooth it over his cheek.]
The soft touch to his cheek makes tears well up in his eyes unbidden. He always was a bit of an easy crier, sure, but this was different. The touch and the words. Acceptance.
He leans into her hand, a dog putting the full weight of his love into the lean.]
I missed you too, yo. I know it's gonna take some time, but I wanna be yer son again. I love you.
[He's never been one to shy away from telling those around him how much they mean to him, and Lusamine will be no exception.]
[When he leans into her touch, she takes the opportunity to brush his hair away from his eyes and smooth it back between his ears, just like she used to. She's about to say that she loves him, too, before a thought catches in her throat.]
"Take some time"...? [A trace of fear flickers across her eyes.] Whatever do you mean? You've come back, and now... Now everything can go back to the way it was.
[The way it was—when he was still her son and this world had yet to unveil any of its ugliness to her.]
[Oh. She's okay with just picking right back up. Beat's tail begins to wag, soft and steadily. Junior, tired of being ignored, butts her head up against Lusamine's shoulder, pet her too!]
I di'nt know if you wanted to jus' go right back, yo. I wasn't sure if you'd be aight wid it. But ye... yea if you aight wid it, then we can go right back to how it was. 'Fore I upset you. I promise I ain't gonna again, I ain't goin' no where.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-06-14 11:12 pm (UTC)[Apologize, that is—and she hadn't wanted to hear it. Even then, his excuses had wormed their way past her defenses eventually, and yet... Just when she thought herself ready to accept the apology, he'd gone silent. He'd grown sick of her, she thought, and decided to abandon her, just the same as everyone else. And so she'd decided that she was through with him, too.
Don't you care what happens to him? You always do that... Only thinking of yourself and what you want...
We're not made for you to just discard when you get bored with us...
He drops his travel form, and something about the sight of his face paired with those last words makes her throat feel tight.]
Why... Why now? After all this time... [Her voice is small.] I thought... you wanted nothing to do with me. I thought...
[She thought she'd never see him again.]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-14 11:42 pm (UTC)I was angry... I ain't gonna pretend an' say yer words didn't hurt me, so I did the thing I knew how to do best when it came to bein' hurt. I lashed out in return, then gave up an' ran. I didn't wanna deal wid it, didn't wanna think 'bout it.
[He lowers his head, studies his hands, frowning at them.]
But someone I talked to not too long ago made me realize doin' that isn't right, an' that when I stopped and did think 'bout it, I wasn't angry anymore an' that I hurt you more than I originally thought, an' how can I pretend to want to fix anythin' if I won't even face up to the hurt I caused an'... an' apologize fer it, an' really try to be better. An' that I wanted to show you Junior, and that I perm changed, an' I wanted to talk about things widchu... an' I hope I ain't cut that off forever...
no subject
Date: 2023-07-17 01:45 am (UTC)She ought to be furious, one part of her thinks. What is there to talk about? Another part, caught in memories that aren't her own, still can't fathom his kindness. How is it that he always comes back to her? Not for the first time since awakening from her month-long sleep, she thinks: she doesn't deserve this, does she?
Perhaps it's the same for her, and she's just now realized that she isn't angry anymore either. Or, more likely, she is angry still, yet another emotion has proven itself stronger.
In lieu of responding directly to any of those unspoken questions in his words, she lifts a hand up toward his face, to smooth it over his cheek.]
I missed you...
[Maybe that's answer enough.]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 01:10 am (UTC)The soft touch to his cheek makes tears well up in his eyes unbidden. He always was a bit of an easy crier, sure, but this was different. The touch and the words. Acceptance.
He leans into her hand, a dog putting the full weight of his love into the lean.]
I missed you too, yo. I know it's gonna take some time, but I wanna be yer son again. I love you.
[He's never been one to shy away from telling those around him how much they mean to him, and Lusamine will be no exception.]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-23 11:28 pm (UTC)"Take some time"...? [A trace of fear flickers across her eyes.] Whatever do you mean? You've come back, and now... Now everything can go back to the way it was.
[The way it was—when he was still her son and this world had yet to unveil any of its ugliness to her.]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-27 07:31 pm (UTC)I di'nt know if you wanted to jus' go right back, yo. I wasn't sure if you'd be aight wid it. But ye... yea if you aight wid it, then we can go right back to how it was. 'Fore I upset you. I promise I ain't gonna again, I ain't goin' no where.